|
♥
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Sometimes the dark is not worth risking.
her  huipeng. aprilfourth. working on ridding herself of hedonistic thoughts because she only wants to live in God's word. sustaining on His love. speak
walkaway
♥rvconcertband♥2icekacang'o6 ♥4absolutezero'o8 ♥5ahhaha'o9 ♥atiqah ♥cassandra ♥celine ♥chingxin ♥clarissa ♥dongying ♥eileen ♥garyim ♥hester ♥jiamin ♥jiayu ♥jieren ♥jillian ♥jonathan ♥khengchuan ♥leonhan ♥liling ♥livia ♥lynn ♥qiyuan ♥rachel ♥songhua ♥sylvia ♥veron ♥xueqiang ♥yanhua ♥yingying ♥yulu ♥zhiyi ♥zhiying ♥zijia credits
Design: doughnutcrazy, x |
Sunday, November 16, 2008
im seriously dead bored at home.11:49 PM watched finish th whole of gg incl season 2 til eps 10 which(i tink) is th last uploaded eps online. went to my cous house til late and arrived home at 3am tis morn. oh while i was dere at my cousin's, my little cousin literally asked me "have you ever lost your cool before?" hmms actually i was rather astonished at th fact of his fine grasp of th english language at such a young age of 11(it is his bday tdy). rather than asking me "have you ever gotten angry?" he chose to ask it in such a profound way dat i cant help bt ask back "lost my COOL?" and he was like "ya." okay fine aside frm dat, my answer to him was "no." bt i also silently questioned why he randomly, and i mean seriously randomly asked me dat. i guess its got to do frm th fact dat i nv ever got angry wif anyone of thm since they were younger since i am th oldest in th grp. and th fact dat my little cousins ALWAYS got into arguement amongst themselves and i always choose to not side either sides. and i tink it was also partly due to th fact dat he was irritating me whn i was talking to another cousin online bt i didnt get angry wif him too and for th fact i was also talking to my other frens online and my tone was always light-hearted and full of 'LOL' or 'hahahahahs' which he saw. hmms and i also rmb someone asking me why i keep laughing whn i was talking to him over th phone. actually i have a reason to dat. its bcos dere might be some instances of silence which i nid to fill in so usually i just trail of wif "hahahahah" to cover th empty spaces in btwn. and another reason is just dat basically its just an instinct for me to laugh. okay am i rly a jovial person? hmms i tink maybe i appear to be one cos i dont like to show my wrath or agony openly. it's true dat i've ever felt angry and sad before bt i rarely express it openly before for th very fact i dont like to affect ppl wif my feelings nor do i like to expose all these innermost feelings wif anyone too. however, usually we hear dat th mre a person appears to be unaffected, th mre th person feels insecure deep dwn inside. hmms i dont tink im dat insecure barhhs. im quite simple i guess. such external and internal contrast is too complex. another thing, i realised it's one thing to say it and another thing to do it. i rmbed ever telling tis girl fren of mine to accept tis guy whom she does not rly have feelings for. i thought dat it would be easy to just get into a relationship at tis stage of our life since it would never last so dere's no nid to be so serious, bt i realised its never dat easy as said. i guess its rly for each individual couple to make a relationship last cos dere's no certainty in it. i used to tink dat th 'first and last' love thing was too ideal bt i guess im becoming dat idealistic too. okay such stuffs are just too profound. if i could just have btr control over my feelings, i may not have to face such a dilemma and more sleepless nights thinking abt everything dat's happened. i cant find a win-win situation and i rly understand how you feel. do you knw i've been feeling very bad these few days cos i rly cant bear to hurt you. you have seriously been th nicest to me, i dno if i shld let go. you're my only remedy.
&still trying to find a happy ending
|