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♥
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Sometimes the dark is not worth risking.
her  huipeng. aprilfourth. working on ridding herself of hedonistic thoughts because she only wants to live in God's word. sustaining on His love. speak
walkaway
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Monday, September 08, 2008
okay now i rly cant wait for sch to end.7:17 PM sch is rlyrly boring th crap out of me. and i came to sch feeling so darn unaccomplished and empty handed since i wasnt able to do much h/w and didnt even knw wad to bring to sch tdy. and in th end wasnt able to submit bio assg and chi compo. and i totally forgot to bring math notes too. my brains rly not made for such boring sch life. i bet university would be muchmuch mre exciting since everyone would be able to focus on one field of study and our mind nid not be dominantly occupied by education since we would have a whole lot mre time for fun. okays i srsly do not knw wad i would like to take up in U. been considering business, botany(which falls under biology), or if i rly gone out of my mind, medicine. since i totally hate, and i mean HATE interviews. so i dun ever wna go for dat medical interview. bt if i rlyrly anyhow try and get inside i dont mind though. but i'll nv wna be a doctor. okays dat's starting to get ironical. finefine, th only reason why i even might study medicine is bcos it's such a prominent field of study. it's like everyone will look up to you if you study medicine. bt hey, who am i kidding. medicine isnt made for procrastinators or slackers like me. they're made for those hardworking kids wif motivation and a goal in life, aiming for dat prestigious job in society whn they grow up. for me, i dun intend to have a job dat requires me to tink lorhhs. srsly. my dream job is being an air stewardess(: i like how glam those air stewardesses are. and i would not require analycal nor critical thinking in my life at all. i'll just be serving those rich businessmen in th business cls. LOL. alrites i KNW beauty wont last. so obviously whn im like 30, i would quit being an air stewardess and work in th field of my degree. okays i wna be like some office lady working in some 9-5 job. since they are able to dress up nicely too. hahahs. since having a business degree would at least stand me a greater chance of being employed. and no, i dun wna be a model no mre. th only reason i want to be a model is bcos they look glam too but i srsly aint photogenic nor have any hidden potential in catwalking dwn th stage, so i've decided against being a model. okays tis can totally be a post on my dreams and aspiration. i hadnt rly addressed th fact dat i aspire to be th nxt singapore girl. lols since i've indeed mentioned in previous posts abt wanting to be a botanist, wearing a lab coat and doing experiments on our friendly green-limbed buddies. but come to tink of it, i'll be leading a life side by side microscopes and micropipetters. hahahs. so no way. alrites i'll just aim for my dream 5 yrs ltr. sians. btw, was totally having tis interesting discussion wif zx aft sch since he brought up th fact dat lindsay lohan is a lesb. okays so i decided to ask thm (zx, grace, xq, geri) whether they would wna be in a homosexual relationship. thn they all totally said no. and i was like, srsly is some girl asked me i would. sincerely. BUT obviously she cnt be some random stranger, she must be my real good friend first. and obviously she must be shuai. naturally she'll be th guy while i'll be th girl. and zx totally said he doesnt mind having *ermms* wif a guy. and i was totally saying "NO!" in protest and dat i nv wna have *ermms* wif a girl. and they were like asking me if like dat wad for i have a relationship wif her, and i replied it's abt th feelings(: came across th saturday special of th straits times last wk. it was abt ppl who underwent sex change and how they're being stereotyped in society and their true life story. and dere was a story dat i rmbed vividly abt tis girl, let's call her girl A cos it would get rather confusing ltr on, who frm young realised she's a guy born in a girl's body. so she liked tis girl B in some university whn she was overseas studying. so she got to knw girl B btr and told her she liked her and how she feels like a guy on th inside. thn girl B also accepted her although she had other male suitors. thn whn they came back to sgp, girl A went for a female to male surgery, and wanted to marry girl B. by thn girl A has changed to guy A. thn th parents of girl B realised abt guy A past and was persistant in wanting to end their relationship. so they met loads of trials and tribulation and was tgt in th end wif their families support. okays im not trying to imply i wna be girl B but i found th story quite interesting and emotional. somehow, although i knw dat guy A was previously girl A, i dun tink they're th least bit not like a true husband and wife. BUT if it was a man who underwent male to female surgery, and have a relationship wif a guy, i'll feel rather turned off. no offense sincerely. cos i cant help bt imagine how masculine dat girl once was. fine and to make tis clear to everybody, i dun ever intend to marry a girl even if she undergoes surgery. okays i knw you guys will question me wad for i haf a relationship wif a girl thn. to put it bluntly, it's just for th experience larhhs. i dun mind going wif her forever bt not marry since, hvnt i mentioned, i dun intend to get married. and before i made it clear dat i wont randomly accept some random stranger, zx asked me if i would accept a girl who asked me in public like je. i obviously said NO. and zx said if he was to be approached by a guy and he asked him to go his house, zx will consider. LMAO man. and i totally reminded zx th person has a high possibility of having aids, and zx was like, "oh ya hor." omg -.- alrites strictly speaking, i swr im still straight. nahhs im not bisexual neither. dun suddenly haf tis biased view of me aft reading. LOL xD
&still trying to find a happy ending
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