oh, whatever.
I've just stopped believing long ago.



Thursday, February 21, 2008
5:35 PM
5:35 PM




hate it whn im being forced to take up sth due to circumstances in life.


whether as an aspiration or as a hobby, i seem to factor in many other points aside frm my main interest.


just lyk for my aspiration, i seem to owaes look thru the practicality of the course i wna take up in the society. lyk how i imagine myself to be if i was ever landed a job in dat area of study. it seems damn unpractical and all and it left me wif a blurred img of wad i want to be in the future. i dun trust in the saying dat you shld take up sth you lyk instead of wad you tink others or the society wants you to. even close ones haf oso deemed the pay and the position of the job to be in higher priority than interest itself. in regard, i owaes shun at the talk of an aspiration.


i feel so inferior. dat even a child would be able to proudly acclaim his or her aspiration in the future. bt yt for me, im left wif nth but a screwed-up life. maeb wdv a child may haf said now will not apply in the future, bt at least for now, they are able to continue striving towards their innocent, naive dream, yt i dun even haf a simple goal to live for.


in terms of hobby, several factors deviate me frm my actual interest too. tho' i actually do feel interest in a different area, the thought of giving up all the lessons i've learnt, all the experiences i've been through, all the discipline i've cultivated and all the friends i cant let go bring me back to tis harsh reality. the cruelity of life is dat in order to proceed on in life, one haf to let go of all past. however hard i tried to hold on, i owaes feel trampled on. maeb dats wad everyone calls, life.


and here, im smeared, coerced, cheated by tis thing. life is truly undescripable. and the one thing dat is able to provide me comfort would haf to be the people i love. however, ironically, they are oso the ones who hold me up by the neck, leaving me breathless.


dere's owaes 2 sides to everythg.


no one is rly able to understand the myriad of uncertainties life has put us thru.












wad you reap is wad you sow-

&still trying to find a happy ending