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♥
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Sometimes the dark is not worth risking.
her  huipeng. aprilfourth. working on ridding herself of hedonistic thoughts because she only wants to live in God's word. sustaining on His love. speak
walkaway
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Design: doughnutcrazy, x |
Friday, June 29, 2007
gosh my 100th post, and tis is going to be an emo one.1:40 AM i swear i feel utterly stressed recently. lyk aft all those llm's countless tough assgs and all. adding to the band interview and the soon-to-be-known positions for the band excos and sls. gosh im lyk being heavily weighted dwn by all tis. destress by o2jamming. gawd. aniwaes back to topic, it would just be delusion if i were to sae i dun gif a damn about which position i get. of cos it matters, and i swear it matters a whole dang lot. lyk loads. and im totally now tinking whether i still want to continue vying for the initial position i wanted. im super indecisive so im in a dilemma. lyk central committee and all. im not power-hungry of cos, but yt im lyk quite interested in one of dat positions. however even though i want it, it does not mean i would haf it luhhs. just as man proposes, god opposes. bm, abm, dm, treasurer. of cos some of those positions are those i would nv vy for. however dere's tis one position among those dat totally attracts me. lyk a freaking mosquito for blood. hahas bloody analogy, but yeas. im not going to reveal wad dat position is but i just want it lorhhs. if im not awarded dat i would lyk opt straightaway for qm. hahas but swear tho' the sec4 excos said nth's permanent yt, nth's decided and all, its way obvious dat they alr haf their own suitable candidate in mind and all le larhhs. so i feel super demoralised. lyk i tink i stand no where near dere, no whr near my choice. (not dat high, not dat low oso larhhs) i haf an instinct. lyk i can alr guess who is going to fill up those positions. some are super obvious, while some are just my instinct. a woman's instinct is lyk good, near truth, so you cant doubt me. and dun continue by saying im not some freaking woman. gosh and i can almost state who is lyk filling up for the position i want. of cos i wun go stabbing him/her in the back for dat position. as i said, my previous choice is lyk my first choice too. and dun agitate me further by saying i cant haf it too. its too much to bear. dats whyy im lyk stressed, cos any moment, i wun even be eligible to vy for exco at all. maeb i might even be out. life's dat unpredictable. thus, i should continue proving my worth. must do it, huipeng. its lyk wad i've been working for for over a mth. if tis dream were to just shatter lyk dat, my heart cant take the emotional unstability dat i would receive. i better not flunk dat interview. huipeng, just treat it as a normal conversation. just pretend. im utterly damned. okaes so syf opening preview ytd was not bad. wif rvdance performing. but those little prisch kids were lyk super noisy. low batt, off now.
&still trying to find a happy ending
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