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♥
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Sometimes the dark is not worth risking.
her  huipeng. aprilfourth. working on ridding herself of hedonistic thoughts because she only wants to live in God's word. sustaining on His love. speak
walkaway
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Thursday, April 26, 2007
6:18 PM6:18 PM i swear i tink alot when i bathe. and so i was tinking about wad xq said, treating tis exams wif an everyday attitude and not be so tense about it. i do agree dat the more i get tensed up the more i tink about wad subjects i suck in and stuffs and yet refuse to study. haish. i tink im getting more stressed by the day, afraid of a sudden meltdown. when i cant hold my emotions anymore. when things get the better of me and it cant stop. whyy is the world suddenly so cruel? what if i flunk everything, which i tink i will, so stop consoling me dat if i flunk wont you do worst and stuffs. i dun take dat. i will feel even worst. and stop adding salt to my deep, bleeding wound, please. i hate ppl tinking dat im of low intellect and stuffs, lyk when i do a h/w you seem so amazed and stuffs. lyk i do not even haf the capability to do dat. i just do things when i want to, not just because i fear getting a scolding or am overly paranoid dat if i do not complete my h/w, i would fail dat subject. not lyk some antisocial mugger. and for goodness sake, stop commenting on my chinese and wdv. i noe im lyk so angmoh and cant speak chinese well. if you can speak chinese better than me then go ahead, stop condemning me and questioning whyy my chinese so NOT fluent. im still proud of being a chinese but i hate being cheena. they are 2 different things okaes? so wad if you're both cheena and chinese? shall i extend my hands and congratulate you? if you really want dat, i can do it foc. you dun haf to go on your knees and beg me. i tink over mugging will make you drift away frm the real world. i sincerely dun see the need or point. cant we just do stuffs dat interest us? in addition, wad makes you tink dat by flunking all my subjects will deem me a failure in the society? wad if wad i really want to do is not taught in our syllabus now? for eg. botany and stuffs. okaes for all you noe i flunk all my subjects but if i were to sit for a test in flowers, i could ace it? i might even be a world-class botanist, mind you. even when i flunked all my other subjects. this world is getting to be a perfectionist. though its all about the battle for the best, no one would be the best coz no one's perfect. contradictarily, practice makes prefect, so whyy practice? i might even die due to this strenous competition. save me, God.
&still trying to find a happy ending
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